Let’s be honest: Sometimes gift-giving can be as much about obligation as it can be about generosity and genuine affection. 

You may not want to purchase a present for your great aunt on your mother’s side, but because every Christmas she sends your kids gloves that she painstakingly knitted with gnarled, arthritic fingers, in dim lighting with her feeble eyes, you feel compelled to go out of your way at the busiest time of the year to find a present for her that seems heartfelt and personal. Never mind that the gloves have a random number of finger tubes, and sometimes have the thumb hole in the middle. You’re going to have to reciprocate with something meaningful for an old woman who might be experiencing her last Christmas and whose only gift under the tree on that blessed holiday morning will likely be the one that you send. 

It’s a lot of pressure, to pick out just the right scratch-off lottery tickets. But you do it, even though you’re just not feeling it. 

The Christmas season places honest folk like you and me in a bad situation. There are people for whom we don’t feel like buying a gift, but who force us either to capitulate or endure an awkward estrangement during a time of year when we just don’t want that drama. Maybe it’s a neighbor who always brings you a homemade fruitcake around the holidays even though you put a “No Fruitcake Zone” sticker on your front door. Or a boss who keeps score and strategically holds performance review meetings the last week of the year. A friend who thinks the two of you are closer than you are. 

Regardless of who it is, they are difficult to buy for because you are not inspired to do so.

This time of year, newspapers like the Local are publishing last-minute gift guides, just like the one in your hands. These pages are meant to give you some ideas for perfect gifts for loved ones that you want to delight with just the right present. And, certainly, you should patronize the local advertisers in this section and thrill the people on your list that you love or like or tolerate.  

But what about ideas for the folks on your list who you don’t like? That’s where I come in. 

I’m going to give you gift ideas for the people on your list that you really . . . if we are being honest here . . . don’t like. 

My space is limited, so I’m going to share my strategy for coming up with gift ideas for undeserving people – and give you a few examples so you, too, can be a passive-aggressive gifter. 

What I do is think of a nice gift I would give to someone I like and then come up with the opposite. Here are some examples:

A gift for a 50-year-old I like: The game “Operation.” A gift for a 50-year-old I don’t like: An at-home colonoscopy kit. 

See what I did there?

Here are  more examples:

A gift for a naturalist I like: A selection of herbal teas from all over the world. A gift for a naturalist I don’t like: A selection of leaves from my backyard. 

A gift for a renter I like: A fine print from a local art gallery to hang on their wall. A gift for a renter I don’t like: The fine print on a lease that stipulates a rate increase on the first of every year.

Dinner with someone I like: Schmitters at McNally’s. Dinner with someone I don’t like: Wawa pizza delivered to their door.

A gift for a book lover I like: A signed copy of “Another Christmas Carol.” A gift for a book lover I don’t like: A signed copy of “The Yellow Stream,” by I.P. Daily

A gift for a foodie I like: Howe’s Hot Honey. A gift for a foodie I don’t like: An active beehive. 

A gift for a pet lover I like: A cute little puppy. A gift for a pet lover I don't like: A wild coyote.

A gift for someone with time on their hands who I like: A 1000-piece Charles Wysocki jigsaw puzzle. A gift for someone with time on their hands who I don’t like: A 1000-piece Charles Wysocki jigsaw puzzle with only 998 pieces.

I think that’s enough examples. Hopefully, you get the idea.

And of course, a perfect gift for anyone, whether you like them or not, is a subscription to the Local. It’s a great present for people you like. And for the people you don’t like, at least you’d finally be able to have an intelligent conversation with them.

One last piece of advice. If you get into a bind and just can not come up with a gift idea for that jerk on your list, you can always re-gift a present you received last year. Track down the coyote. 

John Derr is the former publisher of the Chestnut Hill Local and Mt. Airy Local, and the author of the highly acclaimed novel, “Another Christmas Carol: A modern sequel to the Charles Dickens Classic” which is set in Chestnut Hill.