Deck the halls and haul your decks to “The Ultimate Christmas Show (Abridged)” this Friday or Saturday. For more information: 773-633-6402 or casabuenacp@gmail.com. Seen here, from left, are performers Kate Bianco, Jim Broyles and Stephanie C. Kernisan. (Photo by Mariangela Saavedra)[/caption]

by Hugh Hunter

“The Ultimate Christmas Show (Abridged),” by Reed Martin and Austin Tichenor, is currently being performed at Allens Lane Theater until this Saturday, Dec. 15. While three cheerfully lighted Christmas trees dominate the stage, the interests of “Saint Everybody’s Non-Denominational Universalist Church” are more broad. Their creed? “We’ll believe anything.”

Under director Mariangela Saavedra, the show takes some inspiration in the English “panto” tradition, ending with its version of one in the extended final segment. But it takes an hour or so to get there, as the show frolics through a dizzying array of spoofs and sendups. (British “Panto” — pantomime — incorporates song, dance, buffoonery, slapstick, crossdressing, in-jokes, topical references and mild sexual innuendo.)

Three high-spirited actors play themselves. In their perky introduction, they explain that their entire cast was grounded in a vicious winter storm. But instead of returning our money, the cheeky things determine to play the show themselves.

Character quirks turn into run-on jokes to give the show unity. Bouncey Kate Bianco has a passion for receiving gifts. (She especially craves a Harley Davidson.) Jim Broyles is a self confessed pagan who often clashes with Stephanie C. Kernisan, a devout believer, but one who suffers from acute “Santa Claustrophobia.”

This trio cannot begin to perform many numbers we were hoping to see. These include: the “Swingle Sisters Jingle Singers;” the “Kwanzaa Concert Caravan;” the “Muslim-American Ramadancers” and the "Cleveland Castrato Choir, singing their number #1 holiday hit.”

But they execute others less dependent on spectacle, starting with “The Snowmen,” a belated hip-hop routine for white people. In “Confederate Christmas Carolers,” they serenade us with “White Christmas.” The trio shares the newsletter of “Saint Everybody’s” that reads suspiciously like a topical joke book and Sunday School Santa letters “from our little ones.” Broyles inspires us to create and sing our own version of “Twelve Days of Christmas.”

The risqué ride climaxes in the “Piddle & Happy Bottom Panto Players.” A true English panto has fun with a traditional fairy tale. It always features a “dame” (a cross-dressing man), has a villain you boo and hiss, makes topical references, involves audience participation and tosses out candy. (You can see the delightful “Cinderella” panto now running at People’s Light, if curious.)

But here we see the nativity story itself. And in this panto a true “dame” never emerges; in a quaint nod to political correctness, the show tones down the flamboyance of stage-hand “Gladys,” played by Alex Sutherland. (Apparently, some things ARE sacred!) Other panto elements are gaily present: Stephen Colbert emcees, we boo and hiss Herod, audience members play the holy family, and we are showered with candy.

For playwrights Reed Martin and Austin Tichenor, vaudevillian irreverence is the norm. Their previous plays include “All The Great Books (Abridged),” “The Complete History of America (Abridged)” and “The Complete Word of God (Abridged),” among others. This show offers its own zany charm, and the actors have a bunch of fun being silly.

Allens Lane Theater is located at 601 W. Allens Lane. “The Ultimate Christmas Show (Abridged)” will only run through Dec. 15. Tickets at 215-248- 0546.