The Rev. Dr. Mary Barber is about to finish up her first year as rector at the Church of St. Martin-in-the-Fields in Chestnut Hill.

When Barber took on the role in January, she became the first full-time leader of the church in three years. She also became the first woman and openly gay rector in the church’s 135-year history.

“It’s been wonderful,” Barber told the Local. “...This is a very active church community, so people are very well connected, and have been helping me get connected in the community. That’s one of the things I love about being a priest, that it is not quite the same as being a doctor, but being able to go to the coffee shop and just see people and be known in the community is a thing that I love.”

In her time so far, she said it has been great getting to know the community and has been involved in charitable work, including the resettlement of an Afghan family. (See page-one story for more information.)

Finding her calling

Barber began her journey into ministry 12 years ago. Having worked as a psychiatrist for 20 years, she found herself at a crossroads in her life. Living in New York’s Hudson Valley at the time, she felt the need for a change.

“God was calling me to be a priest. It’s kind of a mysterious thing. ... It felt at the time like something was happening with me internally; I was feeling like something wasn’t right in my life,” Barber said. “I was feeling a lot of joy in serving in my church.

“It all was very tumultuous for a while, and confusing, and eventually I figured it out with the help of my priest and spiritual director and a lot of friends.”

Barber was raised Catholic, but drifted away from the church in her teenage years. She grew up in upstate New York and had spent most of her life there, where she raised her two children, now 28 and 26.

When she started dating her now wife, the two started thinking of raising a family. Wanting to raise children within a church, the couple began searching for the right fit.

“She was raised Methodist, but her father’s family were all Anglicans from the Caribbean, so she knew the Episcopal Church. So when we ended up in the Episcopal Church, it just felt like a really good fit,” Barber said. “In some ways, Catholic and Protestant. We believe that communion is important, and it is the real presence of Christ in the bread and wine, and our theology is pretty progressive and inclusive.”

While she has not gotten any obvious pushback for being an openly gay church leader, Barber knows that not every church would be as inviting as St. Martin-in-the-Fields.

“I’m sure that there would be churches that wouldn’t call me. I’m sure that even for this church, they’re doing a brave thing,” Barber said. “Women have been ordained in the Episcopal Church for 50 years. But even today, it’s not always every church might be willing to call a woman at least as the top person.”

“A lot of people know somebody queer,” she added. “A lot of queer people come to the Episcopal Church because they feel welcome here, and they wouldn’t feel welcome in every church. And there are people who have adult children, who are queer, so there’s been a lot of affirmation in my coming here and being visible.”

Before St. Martin-in-the-Fields, Barber served two small churches in the Hudson Valley, in Newburgh and Poughkeepsie. She was grateful for her time there, calling them “two great communities.”

“I was discerning that my time with them was ending, and I was looking around for something else,” she said. “And a friend suggested I apply to this church, and I didn’t expect it to come through, but step after step it kept going forward, and I kept feeling more like this was a great place that could be a great match for us, and it has been a great match.”

Barber was only somewhat familiar with Philadelphia as her oldest daughter, who is an attorney, had a clerkship in the city last year. During that time, Barber had a chance to visit her daughter.

Experiencing the area now as a resident, Barber likes to take her Yorkshire Terrier for walks in the Wissahickon. She’s enjoyed getting to know the local restaurants and museums.

She said she is looking to experience and grow along the path where the church’s members guide her.

“I look at being a rector, not like being a CEO of a company. I’m not coming in with a vision for them. I’m looking at it as a shared ministry where we are going to build this community together,” Barber said. “My goals would be to get to know as many of the people as I can, to get to know what their strengths and needs are, and to inspire and nurture them in their ministries, and to do this work together, and to always be listening for where the Spirit is leading us.”

Tommy Tucker can be reached at Tommy@chestnuthilllocal.com.