Rabbi Bob Alper, who will be performing Saturday, Aug. 22, at The Stagecrafters Theater in Chestnut Hill, is never at a loss for a punchline.

• At age 81, he says he is hoping to star in the proposed movie, “Indiana Jones and the Enlarged Prostate.”

• His dog was born in Puerto Rico and was named Jesus, but Alper changed it to Zeus, so when he wants to get the dog’s attention, he simply says, “Hey, Zeus.”

• Alper has a nephew who has 11-year-old twins. He said one of the twins was unplanned.

Like the late comic Jackie Mason, Alper is an ordained rabbi who transitioned to a comedy career. In fact, Alper was the first Jewish person to graduate from Princeton Theological Seminary with a Doctor of Ministry degree. The graduating class had eight ministers, two priests and Alper. Unlike Mason, Alper’s material is gentle, family-friendly, nonpolitical and noncontroversial.

Alper, who now lives in Vermont, is no stranger to our area. He was a rabbi at Congregation Beth Or in Mt. Airy from 1978 to 1984. It then moved to Montgomery County. He left in 1986, making a U-turn to comedy (not 100 percent). “The congregation had 400 families when I left and now has 1,100 in Maple Glen,” he told the Local last week.

“That shows you what happens when I leave a synagogue … I wrote my entire doctorate thesis based on something that happened in Hebrew school. A teacher said, ‘If you are quiet, you can hear God.’ I was quiet, but I did not hear God.”

Alper is “from the island,” that is, Providence, Rhode Island. He graduated from Lehigh University in Bethlehem, Pa,, where one of his fraternity brothers was the infamous Robert Durst, a widely publicized convicted murderer, suspected serial killer and real estate heir. “He was funny and a nice guy in college,” Alper said. “Something obviously happened to him afterwards to change him.”

After earning his doctorate, Alper worked in a Buffalo, N.Y., synagogue from 1972 to 1978. After his rabbinate in Mt. Airy and Montgomery County, his comedy bone was tickled. In 1986, there was a small ad in the Jewish Exponent that read “Do you think you’re funny? Enter the upcoming Jewish Comic of the Year contest.”

Alper entered the competition along with about 100 other hopefuls. Out of those entries, 13 were selected to do five minutes each of stand-up comedy at a club called Going Bananas. The winner was a chiropractor, and in second place was a lawyer. The emcee then announced, “Please welcome the third place winner, Bob Alper.” (The other two winners were never heard from again, he joked.)

One judge, however, had picked him for first place — Liz Starr (real name, Liz Matt), the co-host of a morning TV show, “AM Philadelphia,” who invited him onto her show. That gave his nascent career a boost.

“I have visited with her in Florida a couple times over the years, and we are in constant contact through Facebook,” he said. “She really did start everything going for me, and she was right about the fact that I should’ve won!”

“I run into people all the time who think they are funny,” Alper added. “It looks easy for those who are really good, but that’s because they’ve worked on it for years to refine it. I worked on one joke for 15 years before I finally figured out how best to tell it.”

While pursuing a career in comedy, Alper did not leave behind his day job entirely. He organized something called Temple Micah and for 33 years performed Jewish holiday services at Glenside United Church of Christ, traveling from Vermont to get there. “We had great music there,” he said, “with Peter Conti, one of the best organists in the world. Great people, great experience.”

Alper’s wife, Sherri, is a native of Vermont, where the couple has lived since 1990. “We have a 360-degree view of mountains,” he said. “It is quiet and beautiful. We love it, but they do not let you out of Vermont unless you look like Bernie Sanders.”

(Sherri and Bob Alper have been very involved with a shelter for trafficked teens in Nairobi, Kenya. When Sherri Alper visited there for the second time, all the girls gathered in the courtyard to greet her, singing “Sherri, Sherri, Baby” a number one Billboard song in 1962 by the Four Seasons.)

Alper continued to preside over Jewish High Holiday services until the pandemic began in 2020. “But there are many ways to serve,” he said. “My way of service is to make people laugh! Maya Angelou said that people might forget what you said to them, but they will never forget how you made them feel. A lady with cancer came up to me after a show and said, ‘For the last hour and a half, I forgot I was sick.’ That’s my rabbinate!”

Alper now has one million Facebook followers but admits that the beginning of his comedy career was no joke.

“I might do five minutes, and nobody laughed,” he said. “You die. Can’t wait to get off the stage. It’s painful. Thankfully, that does not happen anymore, but I learned how to handle that situation: I’d say, ‘I’m doing research on after-death experiences, so this was helpful.’ Or I’d say to a heckler, ‘Would you mind leading us in a silent prayer?’”

Oddly enough, the best experience Alper said he ever had on stage was at the 2000 Muslim Festival in Toronto.

“The audience of 2000 was all Muslims,” he recalled. “I said to them, ‘I feel so alone and out of place with this audience. That’s because you are all Canadians, and I am an American.’”

Alper will be performing at 7:30 p.m., Aug 22. The Stagecrafters Theater is at 8130 Germantown Ave. For more information, visit bobalper.com. Len Lear can be reached at lenlear@chestnuthilllocal.com.