by Elizabeth Coady
The cover of marriage and sex counselor Lynn Hubschman’s book shows a beaming grandmother surrounded by three grandchildren. ‘’Woozie Wisdom’’ promises grandmotherly wisdom “about life, sex, love.’’ But Lynn Hubschman is not your ordinary grandmother, and her book’s raw advice is the accumulation of three decades trading in the currency of love’s secrets.
Here are the ground rules before reading the book: Political correctness is not allowed. Prudishness is unwelcome. Judgment, do not enter, because on these pages live erotic observations about sex, love and living.
For example, “The missionary position gets the job done, BUT what a difference if the guy really knows how to excite his lady. What about the clitoris and massaging it, and what about slowly caressing her ALL over to bring her to that final release of ecstasy?’’ (Page 254)
And: “There is no part of the body that is not explorable with the hands, mouth, tongue or anything else that feels good. Do not tell your parents I said this!!!’’ (Page 187)
On these 481 pages, Hubschman, who grew up in Mt. Airy and graduated from Girls High School, shares her philosophy on living well and healthily learned during three decades as a licensed marriage therapist. And in her view, capitulation to love is the ultimate in living. Love, she says, is complete surrender, particularly physically, to achieve the highest levels of intimacy and happiness.
“It means that you give up a part of what makes you you for the benefit of the relationship or the other person,’’ said Hubschman, now a Society Hill resident, whose only secret in conversation is her age. “So your happiness comes from making that person happy. It’s not ‘What’s in it for me?’ Or ‘What are you doing for me?’ It’s about my pleasure that comes from pleasing you …
“I am a traditionalist in that sense, and my granddaughters have talked about that with me,’’ said Hubschman during an interview at Frieda, a cafe in Old City. “But men and women are basically different, and that will never change. I don’t care what happens in the workplace, in education, etc. When it gets down to intimacy, men and women are different. Their drives, performances and emotional reactions are all different. And you’re not going to change that.”
An only child, Hubschman attended the University of Pennsylvania, where she received undergraduate and graduate degrees. She then provided counseling at Jewish Family Services for 10 years, later becoming director of social work at Pennsylvania Hospital. She eventually was a therapist in the then-pioneering field of transsexual surgery.
That work led to numerous television appearances on talk shows like Phil Donahue, Geraldo, Joan Rivers and Sally Jesse Rafael. She also briefly interviewed personalities for Dialing for Dollars. She loved working in television, she says.
Hubschman married right out of college at 20 and had two daughters. But after working as a therapist for several years, she realized something was missing from her own relationship with her husband, 11 years her senior, who was nevertheless a good man and father. It took her encounter with a man she had admired from afar as a teenager to change the trajectory of her life.
While traveling back and forth from high school on a trolley, Hubschman used to see a boy walking in Rittenhouse Square who always caught her attention. Years later, she met him at a New Year’s Eve party, and their “eyes met.’’ At the time, she was the mother to two small children, so an ensuing love affair complicated her life. “My mother was not thrilled,’’ Hubschman recalled, “and to leave with two little girls was something that took a long time to work through.’’
Six years later, she married that man, Emil Hubschman, and the two are now in their 40th year together. “Once I was married, it was like Christmas every day,’’ she said. (I met the two of them after watching them dance together during a party at Frieda; their connection was palpable.)
Hubschman’s blog, “WoozieWisdom.com,’’ has brought her an audience of 4,300 subscribers. “Woozie Wisdom” the book is a collection of her blog posts with practical advice and earthy language.
“I wrote this book because even today with all the freedom and bombardment about sexuality, it’s still a touchy personal subject that people are not always comfortable with. Today sex has lost a lot of what makes it special … It’s not like a warm handshake. Passionate love is the ultimate love. If you haven’t learned and experienced that, to me it’s a waste of a life.”
You can read Lynn’s columns at WoozieWisdom.com and buy her book at Iuniverse.com