by Clark Groome

Recently upon a midnight dreary
You found that watching sports made you weary.
Your head is aching, your vision bleary.
So my friends ‘tis time for something cheery.

To those we watch let alone boo or hail:
Lift your glasses of holiday wassail.
Both superstars and ev’ry day players
Need joy to counter all the naysayers.

And to those who own, manage or report:
Rejoice, the season’s a non-contact sport.
Or at least the yelling and the screaming
Is for the joys about which you’re dreaming.

A plus five hundred season for the Phils
Might give all the fans many, many chills.
And a dreidel for Gabe Kepler to spin.
He’s the new boss brought in so they win.

The rest of the nine, on base or the mound,
Give them good stats and pass ‘em all around.
And many good things for old friend Matt Stairs,
A Padres coach, they’ll be glad that he’s theirs.

Matt Klentak’s assistants to the GM
Are all experienced, all baseball gems.
They deserve respect, and offices as well.
So give them a space in which to dwell.

Lincoln Financial, just across the street,
Will hopefully house a rare joyous feat.
Doug Pederson’s squad, that’s good at its work,
Have made the playoffs, and that’s not a quirk.

Post season games for this group of fine gents;
A total knee repair for Carson Wentz.
Would make their holidays cheery and bright
And their rabid fans filled with much delight.

For the Flyers, habitués of ice,
A scoring binge would be very nice.
And, of course, an impenetrable goalie,
Would earn the players large swigs of Stoli.

Special stockings stuffed with cards and candy
For Wayne Simmonds, whose leadership’s dandy.
For Claude Giroux, the captain of the team,
Many points scored to make everyone beam.

The Flyers’ home is also the Sixers’
Whose recent additions might be fixers
To too many years of minimal wins,
“A Process” many thought of as sins.

But now it’s time to be very jolly
As this good squad overcomes that folly.
Give us fulltime playing for Joel Embiid,
The beloved man who is the team’s lead.

The rest of the team, and patient Brett Brown,
Are looking to bring hoops wins to our town.
And blessings to Villanova’s Jay Wright
Whose national rep makes sense every night.

Optimism and goals should overcome
The Union’s troubles, help them beat the drum.
And for the Big Five, now the City Six,
May all have seasons full of winning tricks.

Red holly berries and the mistletoe
Delight all who cheer on their teams and go
Watch them play, whether for good or for ill.
It’s that time of year when winning’s a thrill.

Felicitations to all who man our press box,
A holiday feast, roast beast and some lox.
Without their generous support and help
The press on scene would often need to yelp.

The reporters who cover every game
Are all terrific, too many to name.
Their reporting often lifts the dense fog,
Their sharp writing leaves all of us agog.

Maybe you will still be very leary
That our teams won’t leave you weary.
So for skeptics and fans in large numbers
Wake up and watch, forget those long slumbers.

Instead be filled with joy and optimism.
About our teams: lower the criticism.
Rejoice in the fact that these games and teams
Make the world better than it often seems.

So there you have it, dear readers galore.
Have great celebrations and many more.
And as we progress into the New Year,
May it be filled with nothing but good cheer.