July 3, 2008 Issue                                       

©2007 The Chestnut Hill Local

Newlyweds (almost), 90 and 86, still caring for others at hospice
by Mary Price Lee and Richard S. Lee

Shirley and Art Rowe, married since 2003 and Keystone Hospice volunteers for longer than that, pose at “our table,” where they met. (Photo by Richard S. Lee)

“Nothing is more important than a loving relationship,” said 86 year-old Shirley Rowe shortly after we had met her and her husband, Art, 90, in the comfortable dining room at Keystone Hospice, 8765 Stenton Ave., Wyndmoor. When we met them, the Rowes were seated at what they call “our table,” filling envelopes for a mailing. The table is where they met in 2002. They immediately felt a connection, and were married a year later.

The Rowes, who live 13 miles away in a Fox Chase retirement community, drive to Keystone two or more days a week to volunteer. (Art just bought a new car!) They are early risers, usually up and active by 5:30 each day. On their Keystone days, they are there by 8 a.m. and work until about 1 p.m. They’ll do just about anything that needs doing, from packing envelopes to socializing with Keystone’s residents, and being available to help with special events.

“It’s what we do” is how Art matter-of-factly put the fact that he and Shirley devote so much of their time to the needs of others. They are totally comfortable in their roles as Keystone volunteers. It is central to their life together.

There’s a Kismet-like sense of destiny to this. After all, Keystone played a part in their respective lives even before they met. Shirley, a retired accountant and United Nations interviewer from Queens, New York, was rehabilitating from a hip fracture next door at Chestnut Hill Rehabilitation. She decided to volunteer at Keystone as a way to remain active as she healed, and afterward. Art, a World War II veteran who served 472 days in combat alongside his twin brother (now deceased) and spent his working life at Sears, got to know Keystone because his wife of 56 years had lived there during her final illness.

Shirley and Art met when he returned to Keystone in 2002 for a grief management session. It was on one of Shirley’s volunteer days.

The connection was almost instant.

“I came back to volunteer because they had treated my wife so well,” Art explained. (And because Shirley was volunteering, too?)

They were married in 2003. Although Art said, “I never thought I’d be married again,” he also echoed Shirley’s comment that “Companionship is the essential element.”

Shirley and Art love to tell stories about their Keystone volunteering. As volunteers, they have grown close to many Keystone residents. “We’ve gone to their funerals,” Shirley said, “and even to one wedding.”

Once, with a staff member as driver, the two were drafted as “aides-for-a-day” to drive a 90-year-old Keystone resident to Cape May for a last visit. “The weather wasn’t so hot, but that didn’t matter,” Art said. “She was delighted to be there, and we were glad we could do it for her.  We all had a wonderful time. She loved the fish dinner she had with us at that restaurant on the pier. She really loved that fish dinner.”

On Wednesdays for a time, they would visit a 102-year-old resident at another facility.  She eventually told them she felt guilty about having stolen from her mother at age 13 and lying about it. They arranged for a Lutheran minister to visit the lady and give her forgiveness. She died shortly afterward. Of this lady and the visits, Art told us, “She used to say about me, ‘I know this is Wednesday because my boyfriend [Art] is here.’” 

By bringing joy to others, the Rowes give joy to themselves. It shows in the looks that pass between them and the companionable words they exchange.

As we prepared to go, we weren’t sure whether or not pictures had been taken for this story, so we snapped a few of them at “our table.” To coax even larger smiles, one of us asked, “Give me a smile like you both won the lottery.” They did.

“What would you do if you did win the lottery?” we asked.