October 11, 2007 Issue                                       

©2007 The Chestnut Hill Local

Local social worker helps new moms adjust, appreciate themselves
by LIZ DAY

Grace Lutheran Church is home to Mommy Chat, a support group for new mothers and their children, led by Jeanine O’Rourke, a licensed clinical social worker. She guides mothers like Erin McDonnell (with her son Dylan) through  discussions about everything from sleep deprivation to ‘Perfectionism’ and ‘Mommy Guilt.’ (Photo by Erin Vertreace)

Walking down Germantown Avenue, one can find oneself weaving in and out of strollers, doublewide baby joggers, and little ones toddling excitedly while mom chats with a friend. Many of these moms, especially the first-timers, stumble on a world of wild unknowns — sleep deprivation, inconsolable tears, coping with a post-baby body, and figuring out how to deal with the “perfect mom” image.

Jeanine O’Rourke, LCSW, asks, “Where are these women getting their support?”

“Guilt, insecurity, breastfeeding — it’s never enough,” O’Rourke said of modern motherhood. “Everyone has an opinion, when the truth is that there’s no such thing as a ‘good enough’ mother.”

When O’Rourke became a mom six years ago, she found out that she was not acclimating well to her new stay-at-home status. Frustrated by her lack of contact with other new moms, she began going to group sessions for new parents, and found them to be a great balance in her life.

While treating patients in her private practice, she began to hear the same reo — the stress, the confusion and the anger, especially when there was no extended family to help. O’Rourke then decided to begin her own group, “Mommy & Me,” now meeting locally at Grace Lutheran Church in Wyndmoor.

Originally from Long Island, O’Rourke received her B.A. in women’s studies from the University of Virginia. She then began to study social work at Smith College, and moved to the Philadelphia area in 1997 when her in-field assignment placed her here.

She began her career by working with women suffering from eating disorders at the Renfrew Center and other in-patient clinical centers.

“Working with mothers was gradual,” she said of her current group sessions. “Women need support for different paths for childbirth — groups need to be about more than just the baby, more than just breastfeeding counseling.”

O’Rourke, a mother of two, bases her group on the idea that mothers are overloaded with milestones, and need broader information as to where their child should be as they progress and grow. Guilt stemming from insecurity around lifestyle choices, such as choosing when to end breastfeeding or going back to work, is one of the most difficult subjects.

“The combination of having too much information and being isolated puts moms in a vulnerable position,” O’Rourke said. “We’re a very transitory generation.”

O’Rourke aims to let new moms know that there is no cookie-cutter balance, and besides, she said, “groups are fun.”

“It’s not traditional psychotherapy,” she added. “These mothers needed each other more than me. There are six other people who feel the same as you.”

O’Rourke finds that during meetings, mothers complain about every physical flaw on their body, “and when you say, ‘OK, what’s positive?’ you can hear a pin drop.”

“Your body produced this little person in front of you!” she tells mothers. “Accept and take care of your body.”

O’Rourke still runs her private practice, where she works with what she calls “regular women, struggling with a little something, trying to figure out how to take care of themselves.”

“They’re really good at taking care of other people,” she said. “They’re always worried about pleasing their parents, teachers, boyfriends... When they ignore the depression, it gets out of hand. I work with little 70-pound women and 500-pound women, and they’re all fighting the same battle.”

For the future of women’s health education, O’Rourke believes that there should be more eating disorder prevention programs in elementary and high schools, which she would like to host.

O’Rourke will be hosting a “Celebrate Your Belly!” evening at 7 p.m., October 17, at the Trimesters Boutique at 129 East Butler Ave. in Ambler. A new “Mommy and Me” group will be starting at 10 a.m. Oct. 23 at Grace Lutheran Church, 801 East Willow Grove Ave. in Wyndmoor.

The groups run for five weeks, excluding Nov. 27. For further information regarding group and individual sessions, call 215-206-2931 or e-mail jeanine.orourke@verizon.net. Her Web site is www.therapyforwomen.net.