July 12, 2007 Issue                                       

©2007 The Chestnut Hill Local

Love conquers all for Hill couple
After spouses’ deaths, friends to tie the knot
by SARAH KLEM

?Kathy Kordelski and Michael Kraus found solace in each other after very similar losses. (Photo by Erin Vertreace)

Every now and again one catches a glimpse of it:  love.  It is most often seen in the eyes of a woman looking up at the one she loves. Or the way a child stares at her mother. But sometimes it is the way a woman throws her arm in front of her child as she is braking suddenly in her car or the way a man gently kisses a woman on the forehead as he passes her. Unfortunately for most of us, these moments pass too quickly and are just as soon forgotten in our cynical world. But after spending an afternoon in the presence of two individuals so in love, this writer’s faith — that sometimes things really do happen for a reason — is fully restored.    

Kathy Kordelski, 53, grew up in Bucks County.  She met and married her first husband, Steve Fendelman, before she turned 20 years old. The couple moved to Oreland and raised two daughters, Sara and Melissa, who are now 28 and 25, respectively.   

Michael Kraus, 65, knew Steve. He went to school with him at the University of Missouri.  After college Mike moved to Puerto Rico, where he played the bass trombone seven nights a week at the San Juan Hotel for such legends at Sammy Davis, Bobby Darin and Liza Minnelli. He returned to Missouri to get his master’s degree, but then went back to Puerto Rico to teach at the Antilles Consolidated School System. It was then that he met a dancer named Marla; they fell in love, got married and moved to New York City, where she wanted to have and raise their children. 

?Chad (right), 34, and Jeremy, 31, Michael’s sons, are thrilled that their dad has found love again.

The couple was not in New York 10 years when Marla unexpectedly died, leaving Mike a single father of 5 and 9-year-old boys. “We became good friends.  We turned our lives into something fun,” said Mike.  

In April, 2002, Steve Fendelman was diagnosed with colon cancer. He was given six months to live.

“Steve was a real character. Everybody loved him. He was really wonderful,”  Kathy remembers. 

Steve and Kathy opened their home up on Sundays for any friends or family.  Mike, who was still in New York City, often drove down to see his college friend. 

While Steve was dying, he spoke to his wife about everything. “Steve insisted we talk about what would happen after he died. He was very articulate about his feelings, whether you wanted to hear them or not,”  Kathy smiled.  One thing Steve wanted for Kathy was for her to find another relationship after he was gone. 

Steve died on their wedding anniversary.

After Steve died, Mike continued to come down to Orefield and bring food from Zabar’s for Kathy’s daughters. “I never really knew Mike.” Kathy explained. “I mean I knew him and his sons, and I went to their weddings, but when we would come down with the boys, Mike and Steve and Mike’s sons would have their ‘man time.’ I would be off somewhere with the girls.” 

?Sara (left), 28, and Melissa Fendelman, 25, Kathy’s daughters, can’t wait until the joyous day on August 18 at Mike and Kathy’s home in Chestnut Hill.

Mike eventually started coming down on Saturday night. He and Kathy would have dinner and talk. “It was really comfortable,” Kathy insists. “I could talk to him, and I didn’t have to explain who Steve was, because he knew him.”  Somewhere along the way, it turned into a relationship. Of course, looking back at it they will concede that these dinners could have constituted dates, but at the time they didn’t think of them as such. 

“When one door shuts … ”  Kathy pauses.  “I didn’t think I would find someone else.”  At the same time, she explains, her essence was not to crawl up into herself after Steve died. She could speak to Michael about what Steve wanted for her and their family.    “We just fell madly in love, but we were probably the last two people to recognize it. It was really bittersweet.”

“I’ve never been so in love. It’s amazing.” Michael insists.

It’s great. It is very bittersweet.” Kathy adds.

Michael, who travels a great deal for his record company, Putumayo World Music, took Kathy to Paris for their first Christmas as a couple. She had never been out of the United States before that trip. Since then, the couple has traveled to Thailand, South Africa and Tokyo, among other destinations. 

Two years ago, when the couple was in Singapore, they exchanged rings and made a commitment to each other. “At the time we just didn’t think marriage was in the picture, but we were committed to each other,” says Kathy. They purchased rings and exchanged them on a drum boat on the Singapore River. In February of this year, when they made the decision to get married, Michael purchased for Kathy a ring identical to the one he gave her on the river.

The wedding will take place on Saturday, August 18. The bride will wear white. But that is where the traditions end. “I just want to have a fun and comfortable party with the people we love with us, enjoying the day. As soon as the glass goes down, the party starts,” Kathy exclaims. “Our honeymoon will be in Paris, the city we visited on the first of our overseas trips.”

Kathy and Michael will have approximately 70 guests in the backyard of their house in Chestnut Hill. (Kathy and Mike purchased the home in Chestnut Hill one year ago.) The couple will not have a wedding cake, opting for wedding cupcakes instead. Her daughters will walk down the aisle with his sons, Chad, now 34, and  Jeremy, 31, before the groom makes the trip. However, they are not officially calling them “bridesmaids” or “groomsmen.” Kathy’s father will be in attendance, but he will not be accompanying his daughter down the aisle or giving her away to Mike.  

As part of the Jewish ceremony, there will be a moment to remember and celebrate all of those individuals who couldn’t be with the couple on their day. (Mike is Jewish, as was Kathy’s first husband. She is not.)