October 5, 2006 Issue                                       

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©2006 The Chestnut Hill Local

Good marriage advice overflows from Two Rivers
by AUDREY LEVINE

Elise Rivers and husband, Max, own Two Rivers Mediation.

They are so convinced it will work that they offer a money-back guarantee as proof. And, as of now, the guarantee has paid off.

“We feel confident giving that deal because everyone has been happy,” said Elise Rivers, who, with her husband Max, owns Two Rivers Mediation, a counseling business that the two have operated out of their home in Mt. Airy since 2003.

They offer mediation to couples who are having difficulty communicating, working with them to help solve problems and teach communications skills. According to Max, the technique they use is called Nonviolent Communication (NVC), and it serves to mediate conflicts.

“The people who come to us are committed to saving the relationship,” he said. “Why wait until the argument destroys the relationship?”

According to the Center for Nonviolent Communication Web site, NVC, which was developed by Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D, is a way to generate compassion in others while also understanding the needs of a loved one.

Elise said couples could retain her and her husband for several private sessions to mediate different conflicts and teach them about NVC techniques. After from three to five sessions — as determined on a case-by-case basis — couples “graduate” to weekly public sessions where they can practice the skills they have learned.

Max and Elise began practicing the mediation techniques after working in a small claims court in Massachusetts. He said they often noticed that even though people would sue each other, the relationship was often the most important issue, not the topic of the case.

“We started to mediate relationships,” he said. “We were helping people with relationships work things out.”

Max said another mediator at the court in Massachusetts was trained in NVC and brought it to their attention. According to Elise, the techniques they teach force couples to analyze themselves in the present and try to understand their current actions and values.

“This is not therapy or counseling, which are about figuring out what happened in your history to make you do certain things,” she said. “The mediation is very present-time focused … Sometimes this is the last step before divorce.”

All individual sessions with Max and Elise are about an hour and a half and can cost anywhere from $150 to $250, depending on the client’s current income. After an initial session, clients are told how many will be required to complete the mediation process.

In addition, Max said they give homework to the clients to encourage them to practice the skills they have learned when they are at home.

“They will see that what they want in the marriage is really there,” he said. “They are just missing the key skills.”

Although Max and Elise both began their mediation careers in Massachusetts — Elise having also studied law and Max, psychology — they moved to Philadelphia in 2003 and opened the business with the name Two Rivers, representing their last name and relationship.

“I love Mt. Airy,” Elise said. “I was looking for a grand old home and there are lots of options here.”

In addition to the business, Max and Elise have been teaching NVC skills at adult education classes through the Mt. Airy Learning Tree for two years. This year, a class will be held on October 18 at Grace Epiphany Church on Gowen Avenue.

Aside from her work as a mediator, Elise is also the owner of Moon River Acupuncture, a walk-in-clinic in East Mt. Airy, which she opened two years ago as an alternative to Western medicine.

For more information about Two Rivers Mediation, visit tworiversmediation.com.