September 21, 2006 Issue                                       

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©2006 The Chestnut Hill Local

Surviving back-to-school stress
by Nina K. Sidell, M.A.

I want to first acknowledge and give congratulations on surviving the close of summer, dealing with the onset of the fall chaos and the process of yet, beginning again with a whole new school year ahead. This cyclical transitioning process is inherent as is the nature of life, the seasons and life’s chapters to progress. We must constantly adjust to changes and now is no different.

When getting your kids back to school, no matter what grades they’ve entered, the parents and all family members feel the transition and are affected. Similar to what public relations professionals call an “advertising blitz”, parents and their children face a concentrated “multi-task” blitz in the fall. All things, all needs, many conflicting details exist in order to get the entire job done right. The pace of life does quicken as does the degree of responsibility, energy output and therefore, stress becomes magnified too.

Stress can be a two-faced animal. On one hand stress motivates, energizes and creates a sense of urgency, causing a shift of mental and physical gears in one’s life. That immediate shift of focus and urgency can cause important goals and issues to be attended to. Productivity is imminent while the sense of harriedness is amok. So, in that sense, it can be good to have external deadlines designed to assist in getting the tasks done. Stress, on the other hand can be exhausting, overwhelming and debilitating to both one’s health and relationships, if not managed properly. During this one time of the year, it’s a good idea to plan things out well and be clear about your intentions before you leap onto the “multi-task roller rink” of this transitional big push time.

We somehow get all those details attended to, usually in one long burst. The degree of doing and going, usually without stopping to take a breath, relax and recharge is quite commonplace. There are deadlines, books and supplies to buy, school forms to fill out and clothing to sort through. The adjustment to newer and busier schedules, more obligatory driving, less sleep and a stricter routine are all issues that arise. When you forget to stop, take a breath and take good care of yourself and your loved ones, the process becomes even more taxing. It will take its toll on you eventually.

It’s how you manage your schedules, your responsibilities and the care for yourself and your family that matters most. You will probably get everything done. It is beneficial to improve skills such as time management (proper planning), good organizational skills, effective interpersonal communication skills, learn how to delegate fairly and employ creativity in order to improve the whole process.

Essentially, we are talking about coping skills and building in more effective and more personally empowering skills to deal with life. Add in the rushed pace of our society and the rapid increase of life’s pressures, personal responsibilities and you have more to cope with. You have the both the challenge and the opportunity to maintain or excel your response to stress. You have to consciously choose to take the steps toward a path of time and self-management principles and routines to make this shift possible. Just like any venture, remember to take it one step at a time and do your best. You will make it work for you!

SOME SPECIFIC STRESS SURVIVAL SKILLS:

1). Prioritize your responsibilities and goals, creating a general “to do” list to work from.

2). Clear out your living and working spaces. Do it in short bursts or all at once. Just do it.

3). Factor in time to enjoy physical exercise, stretching or relaxed breathing every day.

4). Eliminate needless errands, phone calls, busywork and time wasters.

5). Learn to delegate reasonable chores and responsibilities to family members.

6). Plan ahead, call ahead, get directions ahead, make arrangements ahead, organize ahead.

7). Prepare meals in advance, use the freezer, cook in the morning or the day before.

8). Be sure to connect with your children, your spouses, yourself. Care, even at crunch times.

9). Set limits on over-scheduling. Create space for “down time”, “alone time” and “family time.”

10).Balance back to school stress with lightness and a sense of humor. Keep your perspective.

Remember too, that although summer is officially over and we are now in the throes of a fast-paced fall, we have control over how it goes. You at least, have control over the part where you can be accountable for how you handle the whirlwind. Your attitude and your focus can help you stay centered. Like Dorothy said,” Everything I always needed was right in my own back yard!” Use your strengths to help guide your path both at home and as you model for your children how to enter into the world. Take charge, be alert, work on organizing your life and your time. Take good care of you, your children and your families.

Nina K. Sidell, M.A., can be reached via e-mail at www.inspiringcoaching.com or by phone at 215-628-0282.