January 5, 2006 Issue                                               

©2005 The Chestnut Hill Local

Opinion

I should have asked for a piece of paper

I just received a 2006 monthly planner. Very helpful for someone who makes a lot of notes and gets phone calls and visitors by the scores.

I open the planner and there is a User Guide. Oh, puhhh leeze.

It explains how to view the current monthly reference through the clear window.

It suggests that I open the cover to access the monthly objectives page at the beginning of each month.

My monthly objective is to get to the next month.

Then it tells me to note my appointments on the two-page spread and to turn the page to access the notes pages. I’m lost already in a planner, for heaven’s sake.

Now, here’s one for people who eat at their desk. I mean really eat.

Fold the left sides underneath, close the cover, and view the new monthly reference through the clear window.

Then it explains: The inside cover includes an annual calendar with key dates for 2006, plus another calendar for 2007. How clever.

Last but certainly not least, it recommends you completely unfold the planer to access the removable telephone directory.

I wanted a monthly planner.

It gives me Standard time in other cities: for example, when it’s noon here, it’s 2:30 a.m. in Adelaide. I never heard of Adelaide so the chances of wanting to know the time there is really doubtful.

Now, in Brussels, it’s 6 p.m. when it’s noon here. Remember the old saying, well, it’s got to be evening somewhere, so let hoist a few.

Brussels seems to be the place.

It also has a conversion chart to make it clear how to take the temperature and convert it from “F” to “C.”

Or from “C” to “F.”

It tells me one square inch is 6.452 square centimeters.

It has a section for expense summaries.

I wonder how much aspirin costs by BJ’s standards.

Did you know freezing temperature and melting temperature are both 32 degrees?

It’s all just too much.

I wanted a date book and I got an almanac.

Hmmm, it’s 2:30 p.m. right now; I wonder what time it is in Brussels.

Carole Boynton
Interim Editor