‘It Takes A Senator’ to write an atrocious book

by JIMMY J. PACK JR.

My Microsoft Word 2004 edition’s dictionary defines the ideology of conservative as, “In favor of preserving the status quo and traditional values and customs, and against abrupt change.”

In his new book, It Takes A Family, Pennsylvania’s junior senator, Rick Santorum, defines conservative as the, “stewardship of patrimony,” a phrase borrowed from fellow conservative, Russell Kirk. In explaining what that means, Santorum claims that conservatives in American politics believe they are the “caretakers of the inheritance,” or, simply put, that conservatives wish to preserve the ideology of those who have come before us so that our children may inherit a land full of opportunity,

But aye, there’s the rub. Within the two definitions of what a conservative is, there’s the implication that the status quo should be maintained.

When I decided to review the book, I insisted I’d ignore my own personal moral, religious and political beliefs and review Santorum’s book with an objective eye, mainly focusing on his rhetoric. Does he present a good argument in his book? Does he have some good points?

Well, there’s one, and only one area, where Santorum and most people will see eye-to-eye; that it is important for the family unit to be strong, connected, inspired and supportive of one another. But that’s the only idea in all 400+ pages of Santorum’s conservative manifesto where one can agree.

The title of the book mocks Senator Hilary Clinton’s book, It Takes a Village. And though Santorum states on page 16 of his book, “I don’t want to spend a lot of time attacking liberal policies,” his prose proves otherwise. From this point on not only does Santorum preach ideas that are transparently dogmatic, but every chapter is full of logical fallacies. It’s hard to believe he ever passed a freshman English Composition class.

Where to start? If I were allowed to write a series of articles, I could continue to shred Santorum’s book weekly like a cat going after a pile of recycled cardboard. So for the sake of efficiency (and to keep my point clear), I’ll focus on the main reason why this book should never have been published at all.

Santorum’s primary thesis is that every aspect of American culture is on the decline and in danger of becoming extinct because the traditional family unit has been shot to hell. Santorum believes that without a mother who stays at home, a father who makes the cash and children who can sit and obediently listen to their parents like Stepford Wives, America is doomed to collapse. Also, this family unit should attend church (whose church, exactly?) regularly to maintain their family bond.

Without this, there is no America. Have I overstated his case? Have I zealously injected my own subjective take on this? Not at all.

Santorum is clearly living in La-La Land. He doesn’t believe that anyone could actually fall out of love with his/her spouse. (Divorce is a no-no.) He doesn’t believe that relationships can change for the worse. He also doesn’t believe in single-parent families, so those of you with a single-parent household might want to see if you can buy your place out of purgatory, or, in the least, go marry someone and make it work.

And need I mention the whole gay marriage thing? To Santorum it is completely unthinkable, so those of you who are gay or lesbian, head to a shrink and see if those electrodes can make you change your mind. Then go get married to someone of the opposite sex and have some straight kids.

Santorum refuses to distinguish between the legality of marriage and the religious implications of marriage; they are the same to Santorum.

So, let’s get back to this whole “steward of patrimony” thing. If conservatives claim to be the bearers of the torch handed down from our founding fathers, perhaps Santorum and his conservative buddies (as well as left-wingers) should be reminded of what exactly our founding fathers did: They became revolutionaries, overthrew their ruling government and established a new form of government that would, hopefully, extend as much individual freedom to Americans as possible. But to the founding fathers, freedom didn’t mean “to do whatever you want as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone” (which is what Santorum says liberals believe); it meant freedom with responsibility — to have the freedom to do the right thing for the greater good of the nation.

Today Republicans are seen as the conservative party, but aren’t they the party that freed the slaves? Doesn’t sound too conservative to me, especially considering many of the writers and signers of the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution were slave owners. Many cheated on their wives and enjoyed a little too much of the drink. My, what respectful people they were.

Theodore Roosevelt, GOP member, helped drive Native Americans off their land and then created America’s parks and preservation lands. Doesn’t seem too status quo to me.

Richard Nixon extended a hand to Communist China and then freaked out while running for re-election, made a few tapes, robbed a few hotel rooms and, well, had to resign. What an upstanding citizen he was.

Ronald Reagan, preserver of the torch of freedom, went years watching people die of AIDS until the disease got completely out of hand. Thank God someone was there watching the family unit.

And yes, to Santorum, liberals and gays and working mothers and rising divorce rates are destroying the family unit, tearing at the very moral fabric of our nation until those damned liberals bring America to its knees and we’re all worshipping some crazy God with a funny name and all wearing our hair long and tap dancing in the streets to electro-versions of Liberace. Damn you, Will and Grace!

Getting through to the last page of this book was almost impossible. After the fourth chapter, reading each page was like sitting at a dinner table at 1 a.m. being forced to eat the spinach you refused to eat at dinnertime. This book is utterly horrible. What is most frightening about this book is the realization that Santorum is a U. S. senator shaping public policy. And while he claims to rely on his faith as a Catholic for his political ideology, need I remind Santorum that the Pope was against the war in Iraq. Remember, Rick, you can’t pick and choose what part of your religion works for you.

(It Takes A Family is published by ISI books, and while the anagram stands for Intercollegiate Studies Institute, the publisher has no affiliation with any university or college. In fact, their Web site claims, “Founded in 1953, ISI works ‘to educate for liberty — to identify the best and the brightest college students and to nurture in these future leaders the American ideal of ordered liberty.’)

If you’re at risk for high blood pressure, stay away from Santorum’s book. On the other hand, if you’d like to look inside the mind of a typical American male, circa 1950, by all means crack open It Take a Family.