by Len Lear & Lou Mancinelli
Regardless of race, religion, age, gender, sexual orientation, financial condition or almost any other variable, one thing almost every human being over the age of about 14 has in common is the desire to find a compatible mate to spend time with, if not for a long-term relationship, then at least to enjoy time together with someone you care about and who cares about you.
Of course finding such a person might be more difficult than watching a Philly sports team win a championship, but Lynn Carr may help make your search a little easier. Lynn, who when asked her age, said, “I never bring up age because it’s only a number,” has been “very happy in a dating relationship over 10 years.”
But what makes Lynn an expert in man-woman relationships is the fact that from 2010 to 2014 the Cheltenham resident conducted more than 4,000 interviews with men about woman. The result of all those interviews was her book, “Shouldn’t Dating be Easier?” (Alpha Graphics, 2014).
Since the book came out, the long-time Philadelphia School District reading teacher chose not to go back to teaching. Instead, she is running “Meet and Mingle” singles events in the area as well as a lecture series on dating. She has also had over 50 book signings in the Greater Philadelphia area.
In addition, Lynn was interviewed by “Good Day Philadelphia” on TV Channel 29 and for two hours on Heat 100 Radio Station by “Simply Monica.” According to Lynn, “People called in from all over the U.S., asking dating advice! I loved that experience!” She was also interviewed by several area newspapers.
“Many people who have purchased my book said it helped them become more comfortable when out in the dating world,” said Carr. “Men have told me it’s very simple. When a woman finds a man attractive, all she has to do is walk by and say ‘Hello!’ Women have told me they realized from my book that meeting that special someone isn’t as complicated as they thought!
“The best places for women to meet men are the supermarket or home improvement store. Just walk up to the guy and ask him a question about what he’s purchasing! It works every time!”
Lynn, who is often told she looks like Suzanne Somers, star of the TV sitcom “Three’s Company” and a zillion infomercials, began researching the subject of dating when she realized that many of her attractive and intelligent friends were leading single lives, wondering what they were doing wrong.
“I was basically writing a book for women to get into the mind of a guy,” Carr said. The book was originally supposed to be about how to flirt, but as Carr conducted more interviews, “it took on a life of its own.”
At bars, clubs, in line at the supermarket or at the hardware store, everywhere she went, Carr introduced herself to men and told them she was writing a book about how to meet a man. Could she ask them a few questions? Everyone she asked said yes except for one man (who drank alone at a bar and said, “Not without a lawyer present”). Her first question was usually “What do you think of a woman who sleeps with you on the first date?”
Younger men in their 20s and 30s told her that’s not the type of girl they’d marry. If they really liked her, they would wait. It was about respect. On the other side of that, when she asked a man in his 70s, he said, “I’d be grateful.”
“It’s not just a book about dating,” Carr said, about the finished product. That’s because the people she talked to and the answers she received reached beyond the realm of dating. What she’s produced is also a book that subtly explores self-esteem and self-discovery.
Lynn is currently in pursuit of making contacts for a possible TV series about her book. “That has always been my dream,” she said. “If you believe, you will achieve! That has always been my motto in life!”